Thinking about dating a fellow runner? Already dating one? We asked our friend, runner, and author Rozsa Gaston her advice about dating taking your run club crush to the next level. Her new book Running from Love is about just that: romance and run club.
"Keep it on the DL until you're ready to seal the deal" Rozsa says. "Dating a fellow runner can be tricky when you're in a track club together. It's like being in the same family. You need to keep it top secret for awhile because once the news gets out, everyone knows, and your friends are watching to see if things go somewhere." Read her advice on running and love here, and check out the Running from Love excerpt at the end of the post!
When two runners from different track clubs date, problems arise in the event that things don't work out or you have a bad break up. You keep bumping into your ex at metro-area races, or hearing about him or her from other runners. If your ex shows up for a race you're running in, take the opportunity to channel your churning emotions into raging performance. Racing is a great way to channel negative energy and turn it into positive results. Medal in your age group and watch him or her burn. At the least, he or she will think twice about breaking up with you.
In the event that things DO work out, the results are excellent for maintaining a long-term relationship. If you feel like you're fed up with your partner, you can go out for a run and get away from what's bothering you. Even better, go for a run with a same-sex member of your club, let off some steam, vent, listen to your friend tell you about their own troubles and—presto—you will feel much better afterward. Additional glue for running couples is that you want to do the same things on weekends, because you're both racing in the same races, although usually at different paces.
When you belong to the same track club you have a good chance of staying together for reasons both physiological and social. The actual act of running gives you and your partner endorphins which help you to manage stress. Speed workouts that put your body into an anaerobic state do so many good things for your health that not only will you both sleep better that night, you'll live longer and look younger than you would have if you'd just stayed home and sat on the couch.
Equally as important as the physiological benefits of partnering with a fellow runner, there's the socializing aspect of being on a club together. When you run with a track club, you take the pressure off your partner to provide you with your total source of happiness. You've also got running and running buddies to keep you focused and happy. The Little Prince author Antoine de Saint-Exupery says "love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." Running couples do that.
If you're dating and unsure of where things are headed, keep your relationship on the DL until you're ready to seal the deal. Word will get out, and you will be asked how things are going by fellow track club members until you're ready to sprint in the other direction when you see one coming. Read the Running from Love excerpt below to get the idea.
What's your novel Running from Love about?
It's a runners' romance about overcoming relationship and downhill running fears, set in Van Cortlandt Park, Bronx, NY.
Who are the main characters in Running from Love?
Farrah Foley is a runner from Riverdale, NY, and a member of the Van Cortlandt Track Club. She's a pharmaceuticals rep for optical supplies who travels constantly and hates her job. She used to be a teacher, which she loved, but she couldn't cover both rent and student loan expenses, so she got into sales.
Norman Mailer once said of Gore Vidal, "he lacks the wound." Farrah doesn't lack the wound. She's the daughter of an Irish carpenter and a Persian hairdresser, raised in Jackson Heights, Queens. She's been through a bad break up, dumped by a guy from a privileged background. She's always been attracted to the finer things in life, a world beyond her reach. When she meets Jude Farnsworth, she thinks he's from that world, but she's wrong.
Jude Farnsworth is a runner from Greenwich, CT, a member of the Greenwich Track Club. He's a ghostwriter for a TV financial expert who has a book franchise but doesn't know how to put two words together on paper.
Jude lives in the pool house of a wealthy Greenwich family's estate. He grew up in Oyster Bay, Long Island, the son of a caretaker and a cook. He knows all about rich people, he just isn't one himself. But he does a great job of escorting wealthy ladies to benefits, mingling with The Gold Coast's finest, so he's a natural choice for the TV financial expert's next book project, ghostwriting "How to Marry Money." He's so sick of his faux lifestyle he could kill himself, but when he bumps into Farrah Foley at a race, he changes his mind.
Excerpt from Running from Love:
“Any news from that handsome stranger last Sunday up at New Paltz?,” Blanca began, as usual, not mincing words.
“Uh—no news for public consumption,” Farrah said, hoping the twilight hid the color she could feel springing into her cheeks.
“Baby, this is family here. Talk to me,” Blanca pressed.
“Isn’t it time for stride outs?” Farrah feinted, hoping to distract her. She looked around for their coach, John Boyleston, desperately hoping he would start the workout. He stood several yards away, engaged in conversation with two male runners. She decided to warm up with a slow jog around the track while she waited for the workout to begin.
“So has he called yet?” Blanca fell into stride alongside her. Like a dog with a bone, she wouldn’t relinquish the topic of Farrah’s dating life until she’d gotten some meat.
“Maybe.” Farrah sprinted ahead, but Blanca easily caught up with her, Ana flanking her other side. She was trapped between two of the club's biggest busybodies. By the time they made it around the track once, she’d be mincemeat, every scrap of her private life dissected—and likely ridiculed.
“What’s ‘maybe?’ Did he ask you out?” Blanca pressed, breathing heavily into Farrah’s face, her arm bangles jangling in the cool breeze that signaled the approach of night.
“That’s my business, not yours.” Farrah tried shutting the door.
“Until I’m at your wedding, crying my eyeballs out, it’s my business, too,” Blanca shot back. She wasn’t a good friend and running partner for nothing. “He was simpatico, chica. Very easy on the eyes.”
“Did you see his chest in that tight little T-shirt he was wearing?” Ana put in on Farrah’s other side.
“Back off, ladies. This is a workout, okay?” Farrah tried to speed up, but Blanca blocked her with her compact body.
“Baby, we’re going to work you over until you dish,” she said.
“Not now, you’re not.” Cutting to the right, she moved around Ana, then sprinted ahead. For the moment, she was free of their questions. She would be exhausted before the actual workout began.
Find Running from Love in paperback, eBook, or audio book. Plus it's a #KindleUnlimited read on Amazon! Weigh in with your thoughts on runners and romance on the Running from Love Facebook page.